Musings Part 3 – Day 47: The Transformation

Teya has a wonderful sense of humour. All my dogs do, actually, but Teya in particular is using hers now, especially after deciding I’m the Worst Whippet Mummy in the World. The evening after I write my last Musings, Tracy drops in for a quick visit. She hasn’t seen Teya for a week and she notices a difference immediately ‘Oh Wendy she’s HUGE!’ I’m not really convinced, but then I see her every day, so the changes are hardly visible to me. I think there’s little change since the previous week. During the evening we come to realise why… Turns out Teya has decided that payback is a b***h. She’s decided to TORMENT me, and Tracy sees the full extent when she says (looking round behind my chair at Teya) ‘oh my goodness her belly is just HANGING there – she’s SO BIG!’. So I swing my chair round to look, put my hand down to have a feel, and I feel…. well I feel absolutely NOTHING different than the last two weeks, and see nothing different than the last two weeks. And Tracy is now on the floor in hysterics. I think she’s laughing because she (Tracy) has faked me out, but in reality (once she can speak) she describes how the second I started to turn to look at Teya (not even when I reached out to feel her, but when I went to LOOK) Teya immediately SUCKED UP HER STOMACH and her belly disappeared. Just ‘ffwhuuuuuuuuuuut’ and it was gone. The little brat KNOWS I want to see what Tracy had seen and she still wants to torment me, so up it went. And for the next two days out of the corner of my eye I am able to see giant belly, but if she ever sees me looking at her directly it immediately disappears!
Nick brings home a portable foetal heart monitor and we try it on her. Teya is actually fascinated by it so we go ahead and gently check to see if there are any heart beats. We do not want her stressed, so we aren’t bringing her to the vets for a scan, but we figure if she’s not bothered by this then at least we can know for sure there is something in there (especially since she’s hiding her belly from us). Sure enough, without really trying we manage to find 2 heartbeats, and all is right with the world (hers because she is tormenting me by hiding her belly, and mine because there are heartbeats). We leave it at two because we don’t want to worry her – that’s enough to prove to us there are babies in there. And the next morning we do the 2nd last pregnancy test which still says ‘negative’ and we laugh!

We take our weekly photos of Teya and she’s showing, but still not as much as we’d like. She’s still ‘sucking it up’ every time we look at her or knows the camera is about. She’s not letting the world see her in her true state… But then it’s time for Mummy’s payback! I go to a show with Savannah the day after our photo session. In the morning Teya is still hiding her tummy every time I look at her. Daddy stays home with Teya and Chelsea. During the day he catches a photo of Teya and Chelsea side by side looking out of the window – and Teya’s ribcage and ‘rear end’ are rivalling Chelsea’s for width. Through the day she ‘blossoms’ and by the time I get home she is no longer able to suck in her belly. It’s there for the world to see, and I rejoice! THERE ARE BABIES IN THAT BELLY!

And Teya continues to glare at me with her now perfected ‘Stink Eye’. Previously the ‘Stink Eye’ belonged to Savannah, but now that she is pregnant and uncomfortable and can’t hide it from Evil Mummy any more the Stink Eye has been adopted by Teya. And Mummy takes pictures of her in her enlarged state to share with the world and even (gasp) measures her waist to see how much she has expanded. And Teya is mortified, and I look at Teya and say ‘Payback’s a b***h.’

And now Teya has been taken over by something relatively reminiscent of The Exorcist. There is no escalation for her. She goes straight from lovely little innocent Teya wanting to play, to a banshee, screaming obscenities for all to hear. It’s rather embarrassing to say the least. She is desperate to play with Chelsea, and picks up her soft kitty toy. ‘Chelsea play tug with me’ she says pushing the toy towards Chelsea’s mouth. ‘Chelsea PLEEEEASE play tug with me’. But the second Chelsea puts her mouth on the toy the DEMON appears and the foul mouthed thing spews in the most vile voice you’ve ever heard come from a dog (VERY reminiscent of The Exorcist) ‘DON’T YOU TOUCH MY *&%^%$ING TOY!’. Nick and I are shocked. We know she’s capable of language – she comes by it through her ‘Italian side’. But this is an extreme we’ve never seen. She herself looks bewildered. ‘Chelsea PLEEEASE play with me’ she appeals again prodding Chelsea with the kitty. And Chelsea (somewhat taken aback with the first response) hesitates, but then carefully tries again to play tug, and again the DEMON rears it’s ugly head ‘DON’T YOU TOUCH MY *&%^%$ING TOY!’. After a 3rd try Chelsea has had enough and finds a few choice words of her own, during which we decide to separate them and let everyone work out their frustration with an individual game for each of ‘fetch the ball to mummy’. Nick looks at me in total bewilderment and says ‘what the heck was that?’ then he looks back at her and says ‘I expected to see her head start to spin at any second!’ I shrug and say ‘Hormones. Just be glad *I* never got pregnant’.

But it doesn’t end there. She has found NEW ways to torment Mummy. If she must be uncomfortable then so must Mummy. I have a migraine, and Teya chooses this day to find a new pitch to her whine - one that cracks right through the headache. She is uncomfortable and so must I be. She wants to be in THAT snuggle sack. She doesn’t CARE that Savannah is already in it. She doesn’t CARE that there is another snuggle sack equally as comfortable nearby, she wants THAT one. And *I* am expected to move Savannah out of it because SHE wants it. HAHAHAHA – Not happening in this lifetime. I lift up the top to the empty one, and she grudgingly goes in and flops down. 10 minutes later and the whinging starts again, piercing right through my head. I look over and she’s back at the one with Savannah in it. I put her back in the empty one. This goes on for a good 2 hours—till Savannah finally decides she needs to go pee.  Teya DIVES into the snuggle sack she thinks is rightfully hers and doesn’t move from it for the next 3 hours till Daddy gets home and she tells him in detail just how EVIL I still am. I warn Nick the next day about this new trick as he will be home all afternoon with them while I am out. I tell him in no uncertain terms that he is NOT to remove Savannah at Teya’s request. I delight in the fact that for an afternoon *I* will not have to hear her high pitched whine – and that Nick will finally experience it…. I get home to find she has been happily ensconced in an alternative snuggle sack all afternoon. *I* give *her* the Stink Eye.

But a strange thing happens. As I’m giving her the Stink Eye I notice that she has again increased in size…. She is standing waiting for Daddy to get her food from the kitchen and she isn’t being ‘belly conscious’ and it is all hanging out, and I quickly grab the camera and take a picture of her now VERY full figure. She enjoys a nice meal and then climbs up Daddy to give him a thank you hug, and again I snap a photo of her. MY revenge is sweet. I will share these photos with the world. These along with the one that rivals Chelsea’s girth will be posted on the internet for all to see, and for the moment I will have won the current battle of wills.

click HERE for Part 4

© Wendy Jones, 4th October 2007

All Photos © Copyright Chelynnah Whippets and/or their respective photographers and may not be used without permission


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