Musings Part 2 – Day 40: The Worst Most Evil Whippet Mummy in the World EVER!

I think I must be the Worst, Most Evil Whippet Mummy in the World EVER (well according to Teya anyway). Teya is a little tart dog – we’ve always known that - she'll flash her tushy at anything that moves, whether she's in season or out.  So we finally took her to have her boy.  First she snapped at him, but the second she clued into what was going on she was like ‘well come on then – none of that mushy stuff – I don’t need courting, forget the sweet kisses, just get it on will you!?' Now what’s cruel about this you may wonder – well because of my sciatica we had to have ‘strangers’ involved so there was an audience for her indignity. The second mating was much less embarrassing for her as we managed it with just me and the dog’s owner. To be fair, she really was quite taken with Luke, but turns out she’s a bit of a slut (rather than a tart), and just wants the deed done. No foreplay – wham bam thank you ma’am suits her just fine. I’m sure the human males wish there were more around like her

But now I am The Worst Whippet Mummy in the World because what she didn’t bank on (post boy-having) was the body changes. A girl never does you know – she just wants her fun. She didn’t realise that there was a price to pay. I get stinking glares from her. ‘Why didn’t you tell me about SAFE sex? Why am I starting to get fat. Look my nipples are bulging and horrid, and I’m wide as a house. Who could possibly want me now?’

And the morning sickness – that ever so awful feeling in the pit of her stomach as she is presented with her morning food. Mummy is so evil to take pleasure in Morning Sickness! While I was still worrying about whether she was or wasn’t, I gloried in her being off her morning food, or throwing up yellow bile in the back garden. Sights like that made me rejoice. ‘YES!, I would cry, ‘Maybe she IS!’ Yellow bile is a wonderful sight under those circumstances, and the normally awful ‘urka-urka’ sounds that accompanied it were MUSIC to my ears. And Teya (who never pukes yellow bile) would glare at me with such fury and disgust.

The morning sickness has passed and now I get evil glares because I don’t feed her enough. I am The Worst Whippet Mummy in the World. I let her have a boy, but don’t warn her of the dangers, I rejoice in her sickness and suffering, and now I’m not feeding her. She is STARVING (on 3 meals a day of the choicest raw meats available no less) and *I’M* to blame for it all!

Last night she curled up in bed and just could not get comfortable. Her ribcage stuck out from her side in a HUGE mound. Again I rejoiced. Again she glared. I am an Evil Whippet Mummy. This morning she is out lying on our new grass, looking wide as a house (though they’ve not dropped to her tummy, they ARE in her ribs) and shoots me nasty looks out the corner of her eye. She takes her frustration out on anything that flies in her airspace, but even the pigeons are laughing at her now as one literally walks past our back door and stops to look in through the glass. She sighs and buries herself deeper into her snuggle sack (where she’s now gone because she’s tired of being laughed at by what is normally ‘prey’).

And while all is now right with *my* world in relation to her pregnancy, all is well and truly wrong with hers, and I am The Worst Whippet Mummy in the World EVER - and she’s not likely to let me forget it any time soon.

click HERE for Part 3

© Wendy Jones, 27th Sept 2007

All Photos © Copyright Chelynnah Whippets and/or their respective photographers and may not be used without permission


Comments are closed.